Like Father Like Son

Like father like son, it was now my turn to deal with the guilt trips my grandfather dumped on Dad.

A Marine in World War II, at times Dad could be a hard man to love. He intimidated me with guilt and fear motivation, just like his father did to him. This sent us on a trajectory of disappointment—pushing his parental responsibilities back on his sons.

The following is excerpted from The Uris Trinity, now available on Amazon.  

“Fuck you, Dad!” I screamed. I slammed down the phone receiver. It was February 19, 1967, the day I turned fourteen.

My brother and I lived with our mother in California and my father lived in Colorado. We were all suffering due to my parent’s separation and pending divorce.

Dad’s intentions were good; he wanted to wish me a happy birthday, but we ended up in a fight and I hung up on him. It was easier for both of us to cool off for a few minutes before continuing the conversation. My father called back and we resumed our talk as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

Just one week before, my brother and I received this letter from Lee:

Dear Mark and Mike,

     When I left home twenty five years ago to join the Marines, there existed a very poor relationship between my father and me and my unhappiness was one of the causes of my running away.

     Since that time my father has demanded that I write and even though I resented this forced correspondence I have been faithful in my letters because my father has certain rights that I will honor out of a sense of duty and responsibility.

     We do not have such a relationship. I was certain that we were closer than most fathers and sons. It is hard enough living apart but you are now bringing about a complete breakdown in communications where I am shut out of your life and aspirations.

     But even though you don’t have the sense of honor or duty or responsibility to do what’s right I would think that out of common decency you would behave better toward the person who is feeding and clothing you.

     I hoped we would stay in close contact, because you love me and want and need to continue and enjoy our relationship. I deplore your behavior and think you both are lazy ingrates.

     But I am making no demands on you nor will this subject come up again. Just bear in mind that everything you do or don’t do in this world will come back to you some day and you’ll be paid good for good and bad for bad.

     You are setting the stage for a future of indifference between us, and a chance to become total strangers. I think you’ll regret this sorely. And don’t believe for a minute that I won’t write you off the way you are writing me off. You are going to be treated by me exactly the same way you are treating me. Call me on your birthday if it’s not too much trouble.

As ever, Dad
 

Find The Uris Trinity; The Father, The Son & The Trophy Wife on Amazon.com